Read Proverbs 5. Reflect on verses 8–9.
“Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house: lest thou give thine honor unto others, and thy years unto the cruel.”
The law of access cautions us to evaluate who we allow to have access to our lives. Of particular warning is the alluring seductress. In Genesis, Joseph demonstrates the best choice of action: run!1
People we are involved with in our friendships, partnerships, professional associations, mentorships, and other close relationships expect access to our lives. How much of ourselves do we share with them? When we evaluate a relationship, we should ask, “Am I wise to share myself with this person? Is this person entitled to the time, energy, and resources I may offer? What degree of access is appropriate?” I also remind myself to consider the value I receive from interacting within specific environments and diverse groups.
The law of access prods me to ask additional questions: “Is this a relationship from which I can learn more about the goals I have established for my life? Is the person I am connecting with a giver or a taker, and in what areas?” Later on I may consider the quality of a connection, and if it is one in which both parties are being edified. Some relationships are established for the purpose of business partnering or networking. Others focus more on spiritual growth. All should remain within context.
One further element to consider is that nobody can be everything to everyone. None of us can give what we don’t have to offer, and we can’t acquire from others what is not theirs to share.
What I endeavor to do is to ask the Holy Spirit to guide me in properly identifying individuals who should be allowed access to my life. Sometimes social networks stretch my discernment; nonetheless, I set guardrails for myself. I remember that access is a valued gift that each of us can potentially offer another. Are the individuals with whom we share our gifts worthy of our offerings?
God has placed wealth within each of us. It is best not to expose treasures of our lives with people who will not value and appreciate them—lest we cast pearls before swine and be devastated by poor judgment.2 Heeding the law of access helps us discern. It cautions us to be wise.
Prayer
Heavenly Father,
Keep me from wrong relationships. Help me apply the law of access to carefully select connections and partnerships. Give me discernment to properly evaluate the access I allow others, and to place healthy boundaries with the people I relate to.
“A person who will not add value to my space is not welcome within my space.” —David R. Lockwood
David Lockwood 