Self-Care Plan

Self-care is the practice of taking initiative and being intentional in protecting my whole health and well-being, especially during periods of stress (which can occur often in the busyness of life today). Self-care is not something that we do once and forget; it’s a regular habit we develop and can be easily integrated into a very manageable routine. Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity, since we can only give others what we carry within ourselves. Self-care isn’t selfish, and since we can’t pour into others from a place of emptiness, we must take time to re-fill first.

Think of it this way: just as professional athletes have muscle recovery techniques, we must have whole-person recovery techniques to heal, feel and perform at our best and prevent injury to ourselves and others.

My self-care plan is included below. Yours can look very different, but it’s important that it be defined. We must be clear on what stresses and depletes us as well as what alleviates and replenishes us in all areas of life. In my life, I have identified eight areas that need attention. They all work together; but seeing them separately helps me cultivate awareness and clarity regarding which area may need more attention at any given time. The areas are physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, environmental, financial, social and professional.

1. Physical
   • Sleeping eight hours, 5-6 days a week on a high quality, adjustable mattress helps me achieve deep, pain-free rest. Fight the good fight during the day, not at night with your mattress!
   • One day off a week. My wife and I take one day where we unplug, rest, sleep in, and do whatever brings us joy. On this day, doing nothing isn’t just permitted, it’s celebrated.
   • Jogging and strength training, 1-4 times a week. I run a 3-mile circuit and follow military exercises for stretching and physical readiness tests (PRTs). These include push-ups, sit ups, planks and pull ups. Exercise releases dopamine and endorphins, making me feel better about myself.
   • Daily vitamins and supplements. I take Emergen-C as a multivitamin and for immune defense, as well as a vitamin B complex, vitamin D, biotin, an Omega 3-6-9 complex, and an apple cider tablet for metabolism.
   • Good food and comfort food. Most of the time, I eat fairly sensibly (reasonable minds may disagree). I also enjoy a cup of cinnamon tea, a chocolate-chip cookie, apple fritter, or bowl of ice cream fairly regularly. Sometimes, I have to limit my amount of “self-care” in this area, as I tend to stress-eat if not careful.
   • Sexual expression and intimacy. When enjoyed in a healthy context, sex acts as self-care for the body, soul and spirit, improving holistic well-being and strengthening connection with my spouse.
   • Regular check-ups. Both an annual physical and semi-annual dental cleanings help keep me minimize pain and catch any potential ailments before they become chronic problems.

2. Emotional
   • Daily check in with my spouse. We re-cap the day, articulate how we feel about current personal and job events. We support, affirm, and validate each other’s feelings before offering solutions or recommendations, at least about 70% of the time. This is both therapeutic and part of the ongoing work of our relationship.
   • Monthly professional therapy. I consider myself an emotionally healthy individual, and just as an annual physical check-up is highly recommended to create awareness, improve health habits and catch any negative developments before they potentially become malignant, so a monthly check in with a licensed counselor helps me do the same for my emotional health. Having a space to decompress, externalize what I am experiencing, and off-load emotional burdens helps keep my pack light and not accumulate excessive baggage.
   • Journaling 3-5 times a week as needed helps me identify, clarify, and externalize my thoughts and feelings. As Fred Rogers famously stated, “Whatever can be expressed can be managed.” As I identify my feelings, I can be more aware, reframe them in proper context, and surrender them to God in serenity.
   • Practicing forgiveness as needed, both for myself and for others. I have an entire policy on forgiveness that I share in another article. Forgiveness is an emotional and spiritual release that’s essential for good health, quality of life and longevity.
   • Listening to soothing music is both emotionally and spiritually healing for me. I like jazz, easy listening, worship music, and anything that is comforting and has interesting chord patterns.
   • Watching a funny TV show / movie. Sometimes I need to let out a good belly laugh. My current, feel-good comedy sitcom of choice is Golden Girls. The Office remains my lifetime favorite.
3. Intellectual
   • Reading a book stimulates my mind. Completing a book gives me a sense of progress. I love to read to learn and explore new concepts and perspectives.
   • Journaling 3-5 times a week helps me identify, clarify, and externalize my thoughts and feelings. Again, “Whatever can be expressed can be managed.”
   • On occasion, I take a short walk through nature, go on an open-road trip or spend some time alone just to hear myself think. My mind enjoys the still silence.
   • Reminding myself of my good qualities. My logical, left brain tends toward cynicism and negativity. Recalling and rehearsing the good in my life – either silently to myself or as an outward expression of thanks – helps foster an attitude of gratitude and reframe my thinking to see and magnify solutions, not problems.
   • Vision board. I place pictures of relationships and things I want in life, places I want to visit. I imagine myself enjoying and experiencing them. Reviewing my vision board helps me stay focused on what I am working toward, enjoy what I have now, and celebrate incremental progress.

4. Spiritual
   • Daily devotional in which I read a given passage of Scripture. I use a Bible-in-a-year plan and personalize the reading to declare promises of affirmation (e.g. “The Lord is MY Shepherd; I shall not want”).
   • Daily quiet time. I close my eyes for a few minutes and imagine my favorite place. For me that place is the edge of a forest overlooking a sunny, blue lake surrounded by grassy fields with a cool, fresh breeze. In my mind, this place feels safe and secure from the emotional hazards of daily living. In this space, I imagine Jesus standing next to me with his arm around me. I focus on simply being present with him and listening for what he might say. He often says things like, “I love you;” “I’m proud of you;” or “I’m with you.” I accept his voice in my imagination as a direct word to my spirit. His words always bring love, peace, comfort, encouragement and joy to my soul.
   • Biblical affirmations. Usually 1-2 times per week, I confess Scriptures that declare God’s acceptance, approval, admiration, love and protection over my life. The passages act as immunity supplements for my soul.
   • Singing worship songs. I love singing, particularly since it bypasses my left-brain and helps my soul connect directly to God. I sing aloud in worship services at my church 1-2 times a month and almost daily when I’m walking the dog or driving my car.
   • Weekly prayer with my spouse. Giving the week to God in prayer gives us comfort and helps us rest and trust in his presence and favorable intervention before every meeting, activity and unexpected event the week may bring. Knowing God goes before us helps us navigate the uncertainty of what lies ahead.
5. Environmental
   • Cleanliness at home and in my car. I can breathe easier and rest knowing that if an unexpected guest arrives or I have to give someone a lift with little notice, I’ll be prepared. Also, I enjoy the feel of a clean car, a clean phone, clean floors, and clean sheets.
   • Organization of clothes, books, files, utensils, and tools. Knowing that things are stored where I can easily access them helps me eliminate the stress of falling behind or wasting time as I look for something I can’t find quickly.
6. Financial
   • Weekly consolidation of bills and income. While this sounds like work for some, it actually brings me joy and happiness. I normally file receipts and pay credit cards every Friday. This way, I stay organized (which I love) and don’t have any surprise bills or statement balances, eliminating potential stress.
   • Monthly giving tracker. I review and update our family giving at least once a month. Seeing our family generosity on paper elicits a feeling of gratitude and personal fulfillment.

7. Social
   • Calling my family and relatives once a week. I try to reach out to at least one member of my family once a week on a weekend, just to make contact and make sure they are well. Staying up-to-date with their lives gives me a sense of meaning, purpose and connection.
   • Quality time with friends every 1-3 weeks. As an ambivert with introvert tendencies, I often re-fuel in solitude more than with company. Nevertheless, I still enjoy individual interaction and good conversation over coffee or a meal with friends who let me be myself.
8. Professional
   • Healthy boundaries. For consulting work, I will say no to a project that could overextend me. With corporate work, I ask for help on projects as required so as not to overwhelm myself or be tempted to prove I’m someone I’m not. Also, I take appropriate time to enjoy lunch and when it is time to quit for the day, I emotionally disengage from work and focus on being present with my family.
   • Teamwork and asking for help. I’m human, not superman. I don’t have to be great at everything. I do need to be good at remaining authentic, humble, vulnerable and asking for input when I need clarity and support.
   • Planning my career. To maintain a sense of control and self-determination, I plot and review my life plan and position my jobs around that plan, not around my company’s (or client’s) plan for me.

My working self-care plan remains open to continual adjustment and improvement. What does a meaningful self-care plan look like for you?